I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize