garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
