God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
