Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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