I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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