New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
