This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
