I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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