i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
