Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
