Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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