I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize