I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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