I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Are we still banned from the library?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
