also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
