Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
