you guys were way drunker than both of me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
