I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
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You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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