You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
