you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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