U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
