So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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