You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
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want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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