Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
