Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize