ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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