Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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