Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
