This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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