But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize