i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
