Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
