I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
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