Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
