I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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