I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
