There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
