And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
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It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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