where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
