idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
