Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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