Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
