haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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