if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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