would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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