420 ftw
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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