I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
