your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
