I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
