Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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