Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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