So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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