I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
