Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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