i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
