If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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