Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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