ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
