dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
