Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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