So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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