Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ok first of all what the fuck
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
