I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
