Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
