booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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