I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
